That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
