Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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