Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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