She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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