Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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