I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
