I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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