btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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