i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I need moral support for this bender
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
