I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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