i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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