4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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