I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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