So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
