508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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