he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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