community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
