he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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