That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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