Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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