he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize