The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
