Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
