pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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