When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
