If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
