The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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