Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
