Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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