What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
tell me about the fingering
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