It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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