You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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