it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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