Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
