I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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