Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
