yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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