she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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