Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
