That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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