i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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