Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
