I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I sprained my soul last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
