Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
