so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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