CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
