I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
