Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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