I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
