Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Randomize
