The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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