I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
