your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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