whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
