I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
