I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
