Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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